straight from my heart.....

Adi's First day at Day Care...

2010-04-02T10:10:00.009-05:00

I could not sleep peacefully yesterday night. So many thoughts crossing my mind - what if he dint like the day care? what if the teachers at the day care aren't caring enough ? a whole bunch of "what ifs" were running in my thoughts. Finally the day is here - feels as if he is already a big boy and it's his first day of school. I just busied myself in packing his stuff, because I dint want to leave my brain idle enough to think about.

all set for the first day at Day Care

Finally, the day is here. I could not go to leave him at the day care, I asked mom and chitti to do that "dreadful task". So off he went to the day care and amazingly he did pretty well, till .... (yes there is a small hiccup) I decide to check on him during lunch. I called the day care and they told me that he was doing really good and was fast asleep now. So I decided I will go check on him when he sleeping so that I don't have to leave with him in big tearful eyes. But, by the time I reached the day care he woke up and realised that he was in a completely new place, and obviously pretty upset at not finding any familiar faces. And suddenly he sees my familiar face and bursts into a loud cry, my heart just sank. He got cranky and did not want his bottle and was just crying uncontrollably. Well it lasted only for a few minutes, but it seemed liked forever to me. Thankfully he did settle down after a few minutes and did take his bottle too ! I was happy for that, but felt really bad because he cried. What might have gone that little one when he did not find anyone of us and felt all alone suddenly, the thought just killed me. I so badly wanted to take him home then, but I had to be strong and leave for his own good, to get used to the new place. So, I left the place sobbing. At the end of the day, it was a good start with the day care, but it had this bitter part too !

Am just hoping he settles down soon !

Nervous and Anxious !

2010-04-01T15:08:00.006-05:00

Yes, that's exactly how I am feeling right now ! Why ? because Adi is starting his day care tomorrow - it will be his FIRST day out of home; and FIRST time with absolute strangers, all by himself ! He will not be there for the whole day though, just for a couple of hours and we plan to keep checking every now and then on how he is doing. Oh my poor baby, the thought of leaving him at day care kills me, but what can I do, the only other way out is to send him to India - which is equally difficult or even tougher I should say ! I am really anxious about how he will do. It's a very big adjustment for him - from the loving hands of his granny to a complete stranger. I think for the first time I regret being so career conscious and not being able to let go my job - I can't do that; I will go insane if I am idle.

Anyway, It's going to be one tough day for me. I resent going to drop Adi at the day care, but again the control freak in me keeps talking me into going to the day care and giving the teachers a lot of information and feeling like being in "control". Aaaaahhhh ! Will have to see how it goes.

Life changing....

2010-03-07T15:18:00.011-06:00

Well.... life changing - tell me about it. Am sure all of you know about Adi, my cutie pie.

Life has taken a 360 degree turn since adi has come into our lives. Its all about him now. My shopping list has drastically changed; from a list of skirts and home decor its has now changed to diapers and onesies! For the control freak I am, it's getting a little difficult to keep everything the way it WAS, and it's even getting tougher to maintain sanity, yeah I do become insane if things are not organized, the way I like them to be. Anyway, I am just hanging in there waiting for everything to settle down a little and for us to fall back into a routine. It's so overwhelming; so much to keep up with; with chores at home, with work, with Adi's stuff TO DO; with his immunizations; with his schedule ... Oh my GOD, the list is unending. Instead of getting things done, my TO DO list just seems to grow longer every day. With all this chaos around me, life still seems so peaceful the moment Adi smiles at me. Talking about smiles, he giggles or rather chuckles now. I love to hear that baby chuckle and he does his best early in the morning! I could go on and on about Adi. Everything he does is so fascinating to me! I know I know, I am sounding like a typical first time Mom, and I don't mind sounding like one.

Every day is different. Being a person of schedules and plans, it's a little tough for me to get used not having a schedule! but hell yeah it is a roller coaster. Thanks to Ramesh, his wonderful gift of eye-fi card helps me keep Adi's pictures updated on the net. Can't imagine doing all that by myself now; with such a time crunch going on.

Adi will be 4 months old this weekend. Wow, it's been 4 months already??? From sleeping 18 hrs day Adi has now graduated to playing, shouting, chuckling and what not! And yes, when he rolled over onto his tummy all by himself, can't tell you what a proud mommy I was! And just to keep a track of everything Adi does for the first time, I have added a small section on my blog - Adi's Firsts! (got this idea from a friend at work) keep looking, 'coz I am pretty sure the list is gonna get longer pretty soon......

My new alarm piece!

2009-08-06T16:03:00.007-05:00

Yes, I have a new alarm these days, which keeps reminding me when to "eat" especially - It’s the baby. Oh did I mention that it’s a boy? Well, if I dint here it is now – yes we found out in the ultrasound (14th July 2009), could not wait to know for another 4 months, 5 months was enough surprise for me. It was a great experience looking at the baby in the ultrasound, I mean till then you really don’t see much of a baby in the previous ultrasounds. But this one actually looks like one and you can point out at his little feet, little hands, his face and much more! Not until now, you real get the hang of it.

Oh yeah, forgot about the alarm part, I kind of slipped into the ultrasound excitement. I felt the first tickle when we went to watch fireworks at the lake shore (18th July 2009). There was an Italian fest going on in the downtown by the lake and they had fireworks at the end. We were standing pretty close to where they had the show and almost around the middle of the show I started feeling a tickling sensation in my tummy. That was the first time I have experienced it. In fact to tell you the truth I went to watch the fireworks in a hope of feeling the baby move because of the sounds. It was really nice to feel him move. I have been waiting for that experience all through. My friends started telling me "wait till he moves more and the kicks and punches get stronger". I really dint take those words seriously until I actually felt them. Trust me, those little kicks and punches can wake you up! After about a week or so, one night around 3 am I woke up, a couple of reasons – One, I was hungry and Two, I could feel him actually kicking / punching. I tried getting back to sleep but could not, he just seemed so restless, that I had to force myself to get up and eat something. I called my mom and she was startled (of course she was, I called her at such an odd hour). And that’s when my mom enlightened me that the babies start kicking if they are hungry. Great! That was when I realized that I have a new alarm now telling me when to eat! Believe it or not, since that day if my usual meal/snack time gets delayed a little I have to bear the kicks and punches. And mind you, they are getting stronger day by day.

He does not care if I am hungry or not, if I am full or not, if he is hungry he will let me know about it. Now that I have actually seen him in the ultrasound and can feel him move, it’s damn right tough avoiding those little nudges. It actually feels like he is telling me “hey mom, I am hungry, give me something to eat”. How can you say NO to that? May be the nudges really don’t mean that he is hungry but you never know, he might be! So, even I am full, I try having a light snack and feeling contended that I have fed him. Before, if I was busy with something else, I would delay having my food thinking I can eat once I am done with whatever that was so important to be finished. But now I cannot do that – there is something inside me that keeps telling me to eat on time. Well, I am definitely enjoying my new alarm!

Here begins Motherhood....

2009-06-25T09:01:00.003-05:00

Yes, right as most of you know I am enjoying the best part of motherhood now. I say “now” because the first 3 months were just terrible. There were times when I just hated the nausea, the sickness, the tiredness …aahhh ! I just did not like it to the extent that I was even repelled to read anything about first trimester! Well, I used to feel guilty too for not being able to love the new addition to my life, not being able to enjoy the pregnancy (which most women seem to do without a problem, or do they feel the same way too? Except that they are not expressing? ….hmmm, never thought about it that way! ) As if to add spice to that, I read an article on CNN about fears of new moms, great! While it added to my list of cribbing, in a way it also was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone with all those scary thoughts. Jokes apart, I seriously used to feel sometimes “Is something wrong with me? Should I talk to my doctor about this (and even came close to doing so too!)? Should I ask my friends?” But again, there was the ego factor of what would they think of me if I told them that I don’t like what’s going on with me? One of my friends is expecting her second baby and we both are just 3 weeks apart, with her being the earlier. We both have had our daily dose of “discussions/cribbing” about how irritating it was to have a weird taste lingering even after you ate the most tastiest meal dish! Talking to her at least gave me a sense of relief that whatever I was going through was absolutely normal.

But now I am through with all the sickness, less tiredness and thankfully no nausea. Of course, there is still the aversion to certain foods, but that’s manageable. I finally am enjoying and actually thinking about the baby. In fact, it’s all about the baby now, I even dream about seeing the baby in an ultrasound. And mind you it’s not just the regular ultrasound; the one I saw in my dream was a 3D image! Oh yes, there locations which do that. We have our ultrasound next month and I can’t wait to know if it’s a girl or a boy.

And yes, I have started putting on weight (I was thinking I might have put on 2 -3 lbs, but lo behold the weighing scale showed that I put on 8!) and that’s a little scary. Imagine, of the 30 or so lbs that I will be putting on, the baby will hardly weigh 7 lbs and it’s up to me to loose the rest? Scary, ain’t it? Well, now because of the extra weight and a round belly, I do not fit into most of my regular clothes, so time to go shopping. I did buy some maternity clothes. And yes, I do love being pregnant now, a very contradicting opinion from a couple of months ago! That’s about it for now, and will keep you guys posted!

Chef de Cuisine

2009-03-25T08:32:00.007-05:00

This is my first attempt at Italian Cuisine. Please don’t say that it doesn’t look like an Italian dish. (Can anyone of you hear me shouting at the top of my voice “wooo hoooo !!!!”). I have always wanted to try cooking different cuisines (other than Indian) at home from a long time; and finally I did it today!

I have been reading my colleague’s blog (she blogs about food and cooking) and I was all the more inclined to trying one of her recipes. And another inspiring factor is a friend of mine who also tries cooking different kinds of cuisines (Imagine she and her husband go on cooking marathons!). I knew one of these weekends I would definitely try something different, but didn’t actually think that I would try today!

My hubby enjoys having a traditional Indian meal at the end of the day, and never really relished having a different cuisine. But I guess he has got bored too and was ok with trying something new. And the moment he said “Let’s try pasta today”, I was on my way to the grocery store to get everything I needed. Well, not exactly; I started searching for easy/simple Italian recipes on the internet. Thanks to my colleague’s blog, I could get a basic idea of what I needed and a base recipe. And off I went to the grocery store with a shopping list. I made parmesan crusted chicken and penne pasta with vegetables. I was very apprehensive of what it will turn out to be finally, but it was ok, not bad for a first try. (Can you see me patting my back?) Let me know if you need the recipe ;o). I did forget a couple of things, but the final dish turned out yummy !!! I finished it with a sprinkle of grated parmesan cheese. What should I name it though ? Penne Pasta with veggies and Crispy crusted chicken....

Seasons so beautiful!

2009-03-18T12:54:00.040-05:00

Spring is just around the corner! This is my 4th spring here in the United States, but yet again it surprises me the way trees just spring back to life with a little sunshine…..trees that have become dead because of the freezing winters, trees that have lost all signs of life and shades of green because of the bone chilling temperatures. The fresh and translucent color of green that starts budding all around you is so pleasant to look at, the way brown just vanishes and different shades of green just take all the place is so amazing.

Actually, we get the first look of any arriving season at the departmental stores and especially the arts and crafts stores (Michaels is my favourite). The stores change their colors and displays in just a day and spread the mood of the oncoming seasons. Come spring, you will find a lot of tulips and bright daisies beautifully decorated in bouquets and come fall, you will see the same bouquets transform into warm and cozy colors like the oranges and the maroons of the maple leaves. And just another month from the fall, everything is decorated in deep red and silvery snowflakes welcoming the winter and the holiday season.

Every season gets a different mood along with it. While spring feels so peppy and vibrant, autumn marks the beginning of the festive season and the lovely feeling of spending your time with family and friends and winter is kind of a mix of gloomy and dreamy feeling. Sometime it looks so beautiful like a winter wonderland in a fairy tale that we have heard of as kids and only feel fortunate to be experiencing one, and sometimes it feels so gloomy and makes us long for bright mornings of the spring.

Being raised in a tropical weather, I was fortunate enough to have pleasant spring weather for most of the year. Well, a duh! that I was, I never really appreciated having such beautiful weather until I started experiencing it only for some time of the year. There is one thing for sure that I like about the widely varied seasons here (USA), we get a chance to shop quite often (give season as a reason you see!).

From where I come, winter is like mid fall here. And now after experiencing winters with 10 inches of snow, that doesn’t even measure up to winter for me! I did get my first taste of cold winter during my stay in Gurgaon, part of North India. Well, it dint snow there, but there was lot of fog and mist. I really enjoyed that. But on the down side, Gurgaon also had very and dry summers. Thanks to the climatic changes, summers in India are getting hotter, and it feels like there are only 2 seasons – summer and severe summer!!! It wasn’t this bad when I was younger. I do remember having moderate summers and chilly winters, but it’s no longer the same. Monsoons are no longer the same; they show up for only a short period of time. What’s happening to the climate?

Decreasing level of water in River Colorado

I know I started this post on a very happy note, but as I went on, I started feeling bad for what we are doing to these wonderful creations of Mother Nature. Are we doing enough to save the climate from even more damage? Actually all these thoughts crept into my mind when I was reading about how longer a particular material takes to decompose. When I read that thermo coal takes a million years to decompose, I was shocked! I was shocked not at the “million”, but at the number of thermo coal cups that we dispose everyday. I am no saint, I dispose at least 2. That really struck me hard. Hard enough that I decided to bring my own pet bottle (for water) and my own spoon and fork (for lunch). Well, it’s not much, but at least I will do whatever I can. It’s not just thermo coal, there are so many other things that we dispose and don’t even think twice before doing that – plastic bags, rubber, aluminum cans, diapers, woolen materials, Styrofoam and a whole lot of other things !

Landfills

(http://www.discoveret.org/ksb/Facts.htm). I agree that some of them are recyclable, but still what proportion of are we able to recycle? Like for example, we keep shouting slogans that trees should not be cut, that will lead to soil erosion etc, but we still do cut them and make a lot of things out of the tree barks. One major product is paper, but what percentage of the paper products that we are disposing are being recycled? Are we still not going after trees and cutting them down? Yes, a lot of these questions are circling my brain right now, and I am sorry I am injecting everyone else’s mind who is reading my blog too! One particular question that keeps lingering in my mind is “Do we want our children to have an Earth with no nature and no beautiful seasons to enjoy?”

Writing Letters......

2009-03-13T12:21:00.007-05:00

I have long been thinking about writing a letter, and I mean actually writing one and not “typing” as in “e-mailing”. Well, to whom? I haven’t thought about it yet. Thanks to all the technology we have, though its making easier and faster to communicate, haven’t we forgotten the good old way of writing letters? I spent my childhood with my maternal grand parents and my grand father taught me how to write letters to my mom and dad. I very sincerely used to write “Hope this letter finds you in the pink of health, good spirits etc”. Now, when I think about it, I feel where has all the art of letter writing gone? Do people use such phrases anymore? It feels a little vintage to write or to speak like that these days, but yet it’s so beautiful.

I am reading this book called “Indira” by Katherine Frank, which has letters written by Nehru to his daughter. In fact, to tell you the truth waiting to read those letters is what’s keeping me read through the book. Though Nehru used those letters desperately as a way of keeping in touch with his daughter and as a means of discussing everything he wanted to with her, they are not just pieces of information he was passing on to his daughter, but also a lot of love and affection. Reading that book and also memories from good old letter writing days have inspired me to write this post.

It always amazes me how letters can communicate such wonderful feelings. Well, emails also do, but I don’t think they do it well enough! Just a simple example would be – have you ever searched for an email and read it again and again? But you do that with letters, don’t you? At least I do. There are numerous occasions on which I scoured through my letters and searched for that one letter which was so special or which reminded me of some nice things, and read it again and again.

I loved waiting for letters, and I loved spending time writing letters. With emails, it’s like dropping a telegram; we don’t write much in emails, and thanks to the shortcuts, we end up dissecting the language trying to type a quickie! I used to pack my letters with everything I wanted to say, probably because I dint get to write another one till another 10 days (but with emails, you can write another one the next minute!). I am not trying to draw a comparison between letters and emails, but I am just trying to see how much time we used to spend doing something that was so wonderful! I feel the same even with e-cards. There was a time when I used to make personalized greeting cards and give them; which slowly transformed into e-cards; which has now deteriorated into one liner emails! Isn’t that sad? Things which used to give us so much happiness and satisfaction, we no longer have time to spend on them.

I don’t know about everyone else, but all these thoughts have definitely rekindled me enough to go back to writing letters, making cards and all those lovely things. Well, you never know I might end up writing a letter one of these days!

More than Enough !

2008-05-21T11:37:00.004-05:00

“Oh please, this is more than enough!” I remember saying this myself at a lot of dinners and then helping myself for another spoonful of dessert…..I guess it’s not just with food, we use it with almost anything and anywhere! ……."Nothing" is ever enough for a human being!...we want more n more n more….the moment we achieve something, we are hungry for more….

Well, again it depends what u want more on what kind of a person you are ….If it’s a research scholar, finding the solution isn’t enough for them, finding more than one solution is what they want ! If its an athlete, winning national level games isn’t good enough, winning an Olympic medal and more n more of those medals to follow….If it’s professionals, all they want is raise in their salaries and a promotion every time an appraisal is done., the list is never ending !

“Is there ever a limit to what we want in life?” I have asked myself this question again and again, but the answer is the same always… “NO”….I don’t know how many of you get the same answer, but am sure there are an umpteen number out there! While there are people who want more and more for whatever it is they are doing (like me), there are people who always seem to hate what they are doing and want to do/have something that others do/have. While I belong to the “Not enough” category, the latter belong to “the grass is always greener on the other side” category. I have met people from both the categories but haven’t failed to notice that people from neither are content with what they have! Neither am I. Long before I started working, getting a job was the only thing that kept me awake at nights, but now that I have got one, I find myself always thinking about when and how to go to the next level, how to impress my superiors, how to get a good appraisal, etc. I can say that I am happy but not content! (I know a lot of you wouldn’t agree, but I somehow managed to see a thin line of difference between being happy and being content) The hunger was, is and will always be there I guess!

Well, I can say that at least I am happy, but I don’t think the second category ones aren’t even happy, leave alone being content. One thing I can say for sure is they can never be happy and never accept that they have enough, at least that’s my opinion. I know at some point I will say “this is enough” or at least I want to, but I wonder will they ever be able to say it? Will anyone of you ever be able to say it?

NOSTALGIA !

2008-04-22T14:20:00.006-05:00

What comes to ur mind when u hear this word? school? College? Hostel? Hometown?...friends? ……I guess these are the most common answers anyone can come up with …..

the breeze in ur hometown, the road side “baddis” (small shops) on our way to school, the assembly halls of our school, the playground, mess halls and dormitories of the hostel, yearly celebrations of the college, group studies in the corridors of the hostel,….the list goes on …..there are so many things that come to my mind when I go back in time…..and all of them so lovely and fun filled, life was so “worry free” back then …….

Having spent my childhood in two different cities, I have very close ties to both Hyderabad and vizag, I guess I can say I have two home-towns! ……and every time I go to hyd or vizag, I have butterflies in my stomach ( usually that happens only when you are tensed, but trust me, this one happens only bcoz of sheer excitement, one of those kiddish kinds ) ……I feel so happy to see the same old railway station /airport and the same roads now transformed into two lanes or four lanes ….I do miss the old baddis, that were so much a part of my childhood picture of the town, most of them are probably gone now, and have been replaced by much bigger departmental stores……I don’t necessarily have to visit the city, the moment I see any of the locations in films, I am jumping with excitement “hey, this is the same old chaat place…blah blah blah ” …..I guess that’s how ur ties to ur origins are ……u just cant let them go…..

My school…..my teachers….every time I visit that part of the town, it drags me 15 yrs back in life …….the every day morning assembly, singing vandemataram, the pledge, waiting for the recess and lunch breaks, the games hour, rushing back home and telling mom every bit of what happened through out the day at school, those tiffs with kids from neighbouring schools, waiting for the annual school days, those unending chats about crackers for diwali….sigh !!! all those days are gone …..but yes they have left us with such wonderful memories ……thanks to orkut, I got to connect with some of my old school frenz and see pictures of my school …..

For me, my hostel is more than just a place where I stayed, it’s the place where I learnt a lot of things about life, and which are a part of me today, its my home away from home…..thanks to the hostel, I have a bunch of great frenz today……I remember when I went back to the college an year after my graduation to collect my TC, the moment I entered the campus, it was such a wonderful feeling as if I was going back home….the huge classrooms, the labs, the hostel steps where all of us would spend the evening, the college bus …….I dint realize that I would miss these things so much until I went back a second time…..I dint realize how attached I was to the place until I saw someone else sitting in the same classrooms where we used to sit, someone else staying the same room where I used to stay……..to be frank, I felt bad…..as if it was my own…well, I spent 4 years of my life there I guess its justified !!!.....

Well…..it always feels great to talk about things like these, but at the same time u will feel a li’l sad that all those days are gone …..I guess it leaves and sweet bitter feeling with everyone …...doesn’t it ? and yes that’s NOSTALGIA !

Commitments and Compromises .....

2008-04-16T12:12:00.010-05:00

How do you know that u can spend the rest of your life with this man/woman? How long do you think, u have to spend with someone to make a decision like this? A month? an year? couple of yrs? don’t know , right ?..... Even if you decide, how sure can you be that you will be happy with that person? …..some say that they just need one look (love at first sight, so to say)..and some say that they need some time (let’s be frenz, date for sometime and then ….)…well, I have met people from both schools of thought…..and they seem to be very happy with their lives …good for them …I don’t know which category I belong to thou’, but I guess I am happy enough…..

Now that we are talking about relationships, I am definitely talking about marriage, which I guess a lot of us still believe is the final or eternal commitment in a relation …..marriage and commitment are two words that are used interchangeably…..well, I have met people who don’t believe in the institution of marriage, and who argue that one need not be stuck in a relation with the label of “marriage”……but don’t we get stuck in a relation even without the label? That’s my side of the argument ……. A relationship itself means “commitment” to me …..a commitment to share, a commitment to be there, a commitment to care for someone unconditionally, a commitment to understand, a commitment for everything …..and I believe these commitments don’t necessarily exist only in a marriage, they are everywhere, they are between friends, they are between siblings, and they are between parents and children ….. why talk about just relations, aren’t we committed to our job? Aren’t we committed to our passions and try to keep them alive?....so why is someone afraid of the word “commitment” in a marriage when it’s everywhere in our lives ……

While commitment takes the first place as the buzz word in a relation/marriage, the second word is probably "compromise"! ……yeah, I understand these words do exist in a relation but don’t u think it would be better off describing a relation using beautiful adjectives than using such heavy and serious words.?......happy words always make something seem so beautiful and good, it’s a feel good factor …..Am sure u can’t be happy always and forever in a relation, all of us have our own share of ups and downs…..but I feel we need to put some extra effort to make things a look a li’l brighter than they actually are …..

Finally….coming to the point….I know I have been beating around the bush…..that’s b'coz I don't know the conclusion myself…..just stay happy, do things which make u happy, am sure it will brighten up our life and the life of “the one” in our life …. !!!

Life AT work or Life AFTER work?????

2008-04-11T18:48:00.015-05:00

"Duniya ka naara…..Jame raho !!!!" Anyone who has watched taare zameen par would understand what I am talking about ……my life has become exactly like that now …..and to be precise, like a military drill I would say ….I miss one thing and everything just falls apart…..anywayz, for those who don’t know, I have recently started working and that’s what this is all about…..well, that’s the first part of that song which very well describes my life after starting work….and the second part which goes “yahan alag andaaz hai……”, yes u guessed it right ….my life before starting work….

Jokes apart, and to be very honest, I am really liking my life …..atleast I feel like I am doing something worthwhile with all that 23 yrs of education ! ……..I don’t even realize how time flies by …..weeks just come and go , and u don’t even realize….and to my astonishment there is much less to do at home, I mean the household chores when u r working rather than when u r at home …..everything seems to be done by 8 ..while I used to slog till 9 in the kitchen before !!!...surprising right?...i guess u tend to do a lot more when u r at home just to keep urself busy …..

I expected that atleast the weekends would be fine, but thanks to our apartment hunting, my weekend slot has been dedicated to that activity……and I terribly miss my extracurricular activities like jewellery making, clay molding etc etc…..I just hope this hunt comes to an end soon and I have some time for all the extra things I like doing …..I thought I would talk more about my work once I start working and not more about my life after work ….but I guess it’s the opposite ….I keep talking about how busy I have got and how 24hrs seems very less for a day ….and to my surprise, lots of my frenz do agree with the idea that it should be more than 24hrs ! ….hopefully sometime in future we will see tht too…..

I am more excited about all the fancy things I am getting as a part of my work just like a li’l kid getting excited about his new bicycle….ya ya …I am coming there, will tell u all about it …..I have a laptop, so that I can work from home sometimes…..and mind you, its much better than my husband’s hahahaha ! …..and I get to flaunt it everyday ……since most of my meetings are with the clients, I get to buy a lot of good clothes to wear and whats even better is, a reason to defend all that shopping ..yoohoooo !!!.......

There are more angrez around my cube than desis…so I get to hear a lot of amusing stuff they keep talking about ……these angrez, I should admit, have the capability of talking about anything and everything under the sun, even if it doesn’t make any sense…….;o) …..they discuss about puppies and kittens for hours together…I have a neighbour who has been complaining about his dog for a week now …the reason – the dog happened to eat 1 lb of his very expensive cheese !!!!hehehehhe……and there is another lady in the next cube who keeps imitating southern folks (the ones who say “y’all” instead of “you all” ..and “baa baa” for “bye bye”)….i guess they are clients and she happens to be in conference calls all the time ….thank god I have my Ipod to my rescue, otherwise with all this going around, I am sure I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on what I am doing …..

It was tough concentrating on my work the first few days, but I guess I got the hang of it now ……as of my friends mentioned I am sure I will be saying “faayyyyyst“ for “fast” and “phaaasworrrd” for “password” pretty soon …….

Well, am so happy I have something to write about now,….or would it be better if I said my “enthusiasm” to blog is back ……

My First Date......

2004-12-08T04:57:00.002-06:00

It was the 9th of September 1996...yes I have been in a relation since quite some time....or rather it would be very apt is I said that its been 12 yrs for both of us .....what started as a simple crush has turned out to be a lifelong relation.......

he was staying at our place those days for taking some coaching and the coaching center was near to our place....I was really happy to know that he will coming to stay with us for a couple of months, but knowing very much the kind of a person he is I wasn’t expecting much to spend time with him during his stay......he was nicknamed "bookworm" ...he would just come out of his room only for lunch and dinner.......

I still remember that day vividly.....its still fresh in my memory.....it was an unusually pleasant evening........ usually one doesn’t get to find such pleasant evenings in Hyderabad right in the month of September......I was taking a little walk on our terrace and enjoying the very rare evening climate ..... suddenly I see that he also has joined me on the terrace..... I enjoyed all those feelings of puppy love during this time, skipping a heart beat whenever I saw him ...and things like that.....I felt one of those right at that moment also......because those were the days when he was a little subtle and I was aggressive (of course its a different issue that its the other way round now ... ;o) ) ..... We started talking about everything under the sun but some sweet nothings ....I was waiting for him to say something really romantic, but as I said he would not take the first step......

then at that moment I said " why don’t we go out somewhere ?, its such nice weather .." ...to my surprise he agreed...... he had a class in the evening, so we decided to meet somewhere after the class...and I decided where we would meet after the class ....

there was a greeting cards outlet "fantasies" near by ....we decided we would meet there , sharp at 7:00 pm ......I reminded him a hundred times before he left for the class about our so called plan.......I started off at home around 6:30, as I got closer to the cards shop, my heart started beating faster......I reached there around 6:45, and started looking at the cards section by section......well this was one favourite pass time of mine, I enjoyed it a lot , I could spend hours together in a cards shop......but even this so called favourite pass time of mine was not killing the time.....those 15 minutes seemed so long.....finally it was 7:00 pm and my eyes started scanning the entrance of the shop every second .....

7:05....7:10......I though he might have got stuck in the traffic......7:15 .....I was sure he forgot about our plan, was furious or rather very disappointed ......I decided I will pick up a card now that I have spent half an hour in that shop and walk back home.....2 minutes later I see that someone I standing right beside me and seriously looking at the cards...I just turned my head and could not believe my eyes....it was him standing beside me with his usual mischievous smile........he knew very well that I was annoyed......we spent around 20 more minutes in the shop, picked up a couple of cards and walked out ......

What next???.... this was the question both of us had in our minds at this point.......he suggested we go to a bakery and have something...... I had mixed feelings, excited and nervous too....it was the first time we were doing this....I said yes very hesitantly.......we walked to a near by bakery, I had a black forest pastry and he had a burger.....this took us another 15 minutes........we dint talk much in the bakery... the feeling that he was beside me and its just the two of us was so very new and fascinating to me........

finally it was time to go back home......we started back on his scooter......when we were almost reaching home, I asked him to stop there, I got down and told him that I will come walking, he insisted that I come along with him, but I was not comfortable with it .......

He started off, and then suddenly stopped turned back......I walked up to him.....and suddenly the same thought crossed both our minds, as it always did........ “This is our first date!!!"

Those Golden Days............

2004-10-06T05:01:00.000-05:00

Those Golden Days......

this is what i would like call those days .....those 50 days when we were together all the time ...cant belive it myself still....it was something like a dream come true for both of us.....a beautiful dream which both of us have dreamt of...many a times....and still dreaming off.....i know its asking for too much at one go ...but still that's the only thing we are asking for in life "being together " .....

still remember everything about all those days as if it has happened just yesterday.......he was landing on the 5th of May around 4:30 am.....obviously i couldn't sleep the whole night before....snigdha, my friend knew that i would be awake and gave me a call around midnight ....i was the first one to get ready ...all set, dressed in white to receive him at the airport....

when i heard the announcement that the flight has landed,i almost skipped a beat.....it was probably just a few minutes after the announcement was made that i saw him.....but even those few minutes were like eons to me ....and when i saw him......forget it ..cant describe it in words....i literally wanted to pinch myself and make sure that i wasn't dreaming ........and then it was another few minutes while he was picking up his luggage......again it was eons for me.....

finally , he was there right in front of me...i couldn't believe it......and before i could realise this is real i was shaking hands with him and saying hello...... i know this sounds very formal , but it really dint strike me at that moment .........

cant forget those moments .....never ever ...

this is all i can write about the very first moment ....and if i go on writing about all the 50 days....that would never end ....

Jack n Jill in Bihari Ishtyle....

2004-09-15T04:27:00.000-05:00

Jackwa aur Jilwa,
Gaye upar Hilwa,
Pani bhari ke waste,
Jackwa gir gawa,
uka khopdi fut gawa,
aur jilwa aawat ludhkan pure raste!!!!!

The Diary .....

2004-09-13T04:08:00.000-05:00

Hi ...

I am Amulya...I got to know about this site recently from one of my colleagues.....Found it interesting .....I mean the very fact that you can share your thoughts with hundreds out there seems amazing ........so , here I am blogging !!!!

I feel penning down your thoughts is the most relaxing thing one can ever do ..... The very "diary" probably came into picture only because of such habits ...........but thanks to the key boards and computers , we almost forgot our own handwriting .....well, we are in a situation where we cant help but keep trying .......and thanks to the short cuts in the language, "ur,abt,...etc" just to quote a few, we are even depriving ourselves of the feeling of how beautiful a language can be when written in "WHOLE words"....I myslef found it so difficult all through this blog to avoid shorts cuts.........;o) .....

Posting articles like this probably cannot replace one's diary, but yes can definetly make you a feel little realxed ......a few minutes off from our busy schedules .......

Keep Blogging !!!!